Cartoons - and jokes Page 2 from Llewellyn

The liquid on the INside of a fire hydrant is H2O
The liquid on the OUTside of a fire hydrant is K9P
T Joiner

Something Lost in the Translation
(true story)

The kennel staff neglected to tell a security officer that the dog he was assigned was a "talker".

When she wanted to get your attention, or wanted you to play, she would tell you so by going "woof, growl, woof", and gnash her teeth. The more excited, the louder she "talked", and the more teeth she displayed.

The assignment was in a forested area, where the officer spied a tree laden with apples. When the officer reached for an apple, the dog, thinking he was about to throw a ball, went into her act.

"SNAP! WOOF! GNASH!" she growled, staring right into the Guard’s eyes.

She was saying "yea!, yea! Throw the ball"; but the officer translated that into "Move and I’ll kill you!", so he froze; on tip toes, hand on the apple, quietly trying to calm the dog. Each time he moved, the dog would woof and snap. The officer claimed he was in this "Statue of Liberty" position for hours, until finally the dog decided he wasn’t going to throw the ball, so she laid down and went to sleep.

Handling a Noise Complaint (true story)

The officer was asked to respond to a noise complaint. He was told that the apartment was occupied with a tough bunch who didn’t take kindly to outside interference.

The officer was partnered with a big red Dobe named "Major".

The officer placed the dog in a sit-stay at the end of the hall, and knocked on the infamous door. Presently, the door opened and a "hulk" demanded "Waddayawant!"

"The Major would like you to cut down the noise." replied the officer.

"Yea!, well you tell the Major he can go to Hell!!" Was the response.

"Why don’t you tell him yourself, sir. .... he’s right here .... MAJOR HEEL!" ... The dog came charging down the hall, and the tenant quickly backed inside and agreed to keep the noise down!